Tag Archive | death

Everybody is being so nice to me

Everybody is being so nice to me. Maybe they have always been really nice to me. Maybe I’m just starting to notice it. And why wouldn’t they be? They all know I’m going to die. img_9626



This is an example of how I do inquiry on a stressful thought.

The thought I am working on today is “I am angry at my uncle because he died of cancer.”

1) Is it true?


2) Can I absolutely know that I am angry that he died of cancer?


3) How do I react when I think the thought “I am angry at my uncle because he died of cancer”?

I cry, I get depressed, I want to start a war on cancer, I want to kill cancer, I am afraid I might die of cancer. I try to forget my uncle.

4) Who would you be without the thought “I am angry at my uncle because he died of cancer”?

I’d be peaceful, courageous, positive, calm, healthy.

Turning the thought around:

1) I am angry at myself because he died of cancer, I am angry because I wasn’t able to heal him, I am angry because I wasn’t able to kill his cancer. I am angry because I didn’t know about the Budwig diet back then. I am angry because he left his body before I did. I am angry because he’s resting and I am not.

2) I am angry at myself because I died of cancer. My thoughts got cancer, my mind is not healthy, it thinks about cancer a lot. My thoughts killed some of the aliveness I had as a child, I started protecting myself from death by killing my feelings. I separated myself from cancer. I made cancer into an enemy, I did not see it as part of life. I am angry that I told a 12 year old (myself) that she should heal her uncle and put so much responsibility on her shoulders.

3) I am happy that my uncle died of cancer. I am happy because I can empathize with people who also suffer from cancer.  I am happy because it caused me to look for a cure. I am happy because it causes me to eat healthy. I am happy because it showed me I could survive the devastation of losing someone dear to me. I am happy because it made me search for something beyond the body.

My uncle is still alive in my thoughts. I can still see images of him in my mind. My uncle died because he was tired, tired of fighting cancer. My uncle died so he can give my aunt and my grandparents freedom to continue to live their lives without having to take care of him on a daily basis.

The turnarounds show me other possibilities that are certainly more peaceful for my soul than the original thought.


If you would like to inquire your own thoughts:


If you would like to listen to other people inquire their thoughts:


The picture is taken in my backyard, where I like to question my thoughts.

Life and death are equal?


I am one of the people who likes to test for myself what other considered teachers are saying. I like to try different diets to see how my body feels after I eat, I like to try different spiritual practices to see which ones bring me peace. So today I went out for a walk to test one of Byron Katie’s sayings : “Life and death are equal in my experience.” Now this one was difficult for me to grasp; my family and I think most of the world don’t see these 2 as equal. I used to want to die as a child, but I don’t think it was because I loved death, but because I feared it, and wanted to die before anyone else in my family, so as not to experience the separation. I have a very strong connection to the trees and today they offered me a different perspective on death. I could see both life and death and they appeared equal. I could see how the live trees were providing a place to nest for the birds, and I could also see how the dead trees were providing food for the birds. I thought back to my grandparents who have passed away and remembered how I didn’t always listen to them when they were alive, but how I feel their influence now that their physical bodies are gone, how I do things like gardening because my grandpas enjoyed it or cooking the foods that my grandma cooked. It certainly feels that their spirit is much stronger in its silence than their actual words ever were.



PS My husband took the pictures today in a wooded area where we sometimes walk. The last picture has a pair of Carolina Wrens in it, the male on top of the log, and the female is in the crevice off to the right.